I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday, 9-19-08

All right, let's just get this out of the way. On my iPod for this morning's commute:

Playing in the Distance by Grand National
Free Will by Rush
Paint by Soul Coughing
Ranking Full Stop by English Beat
Collapse by Soul Coughing
Release It by Morris Day and The Time
Police & Thieves by The Clash

Two Soul Coughing songs in one bus ride? Is that allowed? Just another one of the Mysteries of the iPod Shuffle…

Welcome, everyone, to the end of the work week. My name is Pearl, and I’ll be heading towards the exits with you around 5:00 Minneapolis time. If you get there before me, save me a spot wherever you are. If you’re leaving after me, be sure to drop a line and let me know where we can hook up later.

I didn’t go to yoga last night for the first time this week and feel like I haven’t been stretched properly. Like anything that makes you feel really good, yoga’s addictive, and if it weren’t for the possibility of my boss rounding the corner, I’d drop into Down Dog right now.

On a side note, my boss (Dave) was running a little late the other morning and came around the corner just as I was saying to a cube-mate – in a joking fashion, I assure you! – “He’s running late. You know, I think Dave just doesn’t love me anymore.” This, of course, was the moment he turned the corner, smiling, and said, “I don’t know why you’d think that…” and kept walking.

Note to self: Try to tone it down at work!

Anyway, I’m feeling the need to stretch and twist. Honestly, I just can’t say enough good things about yoga, but let’s see me try.

1. Yoga makes it easy to stop thinking and be, just be, no matter where you are. You don’t realize how often your mind is not with your body until it’s been pointed out to you.

2. Yoga gets you acquainted with the sights, shapes, and, yes, smells of other people’s bodies. For the most part, this is kind of cool. On the other hand, there was somebody in Tuesday’s class that smelled like a goat.

3. There are few things that you can do in public that will make you sweat as much as yoga in a heated room. I challenge you to work on this and get back to me.

4. Yoga makes you imagine that you know how cats feel when they stretch.

5. Because of the combination of yoga and beer, I’ve been known to drop to the ground at parties and either a.) do push-ups, b.) attempt a headstand (which normally results in a tripod headstand followed by flopping on my back like a fish) or c.) say things like “Here, feel my biceps! Hey! Hey! Feel my biceps!” They’re sports about it, of course, but one can only imagine how much fun this is for my friends…

Tonight: Yoga, followed by sweating, followed by showering, followed by a well-deserved beer (or three).

Tomorrow: We shop!

Mall of America, you’ve been put on notice.


mbuna53 said...

Don't forget about drunken airplane outside Dusty's, but the real test of your balance is drunken half-moon, not that kind! Don't make me come over there!


Pearl said...

Ah! You know, I DID forget about drunken airplane pose! A true test of one's balance.

Right back atcha, RD. Namaste.


ugich konitari said...

"Yoga makes you imagine that you know how cats feel when they stretch. "

Great Description, Pearl. Absolutely agree. Wonderful post.

Judi "Jlo" Moran said...

You crack me up!
Just reading your profile alone makes me laugh.
Thanks, too, for becoming a follower of my blog: zany life + crazy faith.
What an honor for this "old" chick to be followed by such a fun and funny young chick.
Thanks again and I look forward to your future visits.

Lilly's Life said...

Hilarious you are. My daughter does Hot Yoga - I thought it was something way different than it actually turned out to be. When I visit her soon I am taking a class. Shop to you drop tomorrow!!!